Do the creep: Graham Parker & The Rumour at The Queen

My brain just melted trying to decipher Graham Parker from Marshall Crenshaw.

Now is Parker is the gangly geek who wrote and sang the sweet single "Someday, Somewhere," or is that Crenshaw?

Is Crenshaw the sickly looking geek-in-denial who is constantly lauded for nothing in particular, or is that Parker?

Old age is a bitch. Heck, sometimes I can't separate between Marshall Crenshaw, Graham Parker or Graham Repulski.

But thanks to the Internets I think I got it.

All of you! You are gonna dieeeee!

Graham Parker, who will be at World Cafe Live at the Queen in Wilmington with his band, The Rumour, on Saturday (April 20), is the guy who already looked like the preacher from "Poltergeist II" when he busted out with his 1976 debut "Howlin' Wind" (really? at age 26?).

He then got by-passed by Elvis Costello upon the fellow-Brit's 1977 debut, pretty much because Costello was a clone of Parker - the voice, the R&B-inflected rock, the nerdish charm - only with better tunes and far worse teeth.

Marshall Crenshaw is the "Someday, Somewhere" guy, and what has me on edge right now is the fact that this is the second mention of Crenshaw in the short life-span of First State Rock. Kill me now.

Parker had just one Top 40 hit, "Wake Up (Next To You)," but there's plenty of decent Van Morrison rips like "Heat Treatment":

He also churned out of some of the most awesomely bad album covers of all time.

But he was a pretty solid live performer, which makes his performance Saturday a best bet for local music fans.

'90s nostalgia: Cure for The Grand's ills

Biased opinion alert: The Grand's booking of The Pixies was genius.

Today, The News Journal had a story about The Grand slashing a quarter of its staff, having a huge revenue shortfall, and eyeing deeper cuts as a way for the 135-year-old venue to stay in business.

One reason cited was "increased competition." Duh. World Cafe Live at the Queen opened down the street a few years ago. Wonder why there aren't as many slices of the same pie to go around when there are more people eating it?

When the Queen opened, there was talk about cooperation between the venues, or at least some kind of drawing of turf. As in, "Hey, Queen, you take the adult-contemporary acts and the alt-rock bands, and we'll take the jazz, classical and pop icon group."

That didn't really happen, and what you're left with is Saturday (April 6)'s recreation of The Who's classic "Who's Next" album at The Grand and similar odes to Led Zeppelin tonight (April 5) and Pink Floyd tomorrow (April 6) at The Queen.

Really?

Look, I know nothing about demographics, budgets, scheduling, costs to book bands or any of that stuff. But it seems to me that a big part of the solution is simple.

Both venues could easily put butts in their seats if they realized who will come downtown.

It seems to me like a big segment of the concert-going population is in the 25-40 range. These are people with a decent amount of disposable dough that they'd be willing to spend on a night out to see one of their favorite all-time bands. And a good chunk of them on the younger end don't have kids, so they don't have to worry about baby sitters.

The Grand should pass, especially sans DeYoung (far right).

But those bands are not Styx, or REO Speedwagon, or anyone from the 1970s or 1980s.

These two venues have to look at who the REO Speedwagons and Styx are for this generation. These venues HAVE to look at the 1990s.

The Atlanta Journal-Constituion just did a story on this a few days ago. Down there, Sugar Ray, Everclear, Barenaked Ladies and Blues Traveler will all be in town this weekend. Smash Mouth, Collective Soul and Gin Blossoms are all out there too. Do some of these bands suck? Sure. Will people pay decent money to see them? You bet.

The Grand did it with The Pixies, but they haven't continued to dig deeper into that gold mine. The Grand could easily book Stone Temple Pilots and charge $45 a head and sell out the place in a day. I'm thinking that would put The Grand in the black for that night.

Nostalgia goldmine: right there waiting.

What about Weezer? Live? Soundgarden? What about a cheesy package show at The Queen featuring Better Than Ezra, Marcy Playground and Harvey Danger?

What about the slew of indie-rock reunions? I'm sure the show bookers at The Queen and The Grand never heard of Archers of Loaf or Guided By Voices or maybe even Pavement. But these bands have hardcore followings, and their ongoing classic lineup reunion tours would have easily sold out The Queen. Same goes for The Breeders' "Last Splash" anniversary tour, just covered on this blog, which hits Philly in May. I personally would pay a pretty penny to see any of those three shows in a beautiful venue like The Grand (or The Queen).

Big-time score for Firefly.

What about hip-hop? I know that sounds scary to both of those venues, but the Firefly Music Festival showed some balls and put rap legends and Rock and Roll Hall of Famers Public Enemy on their sked of almost all rock acts. I'm sure they'll draw a new crowd with that booking - why not do the same at The Grand and/or The Queen? What are you afraid of?

Speaking of Firefly, why can't those venues get any of the acts playing the festival? More exposure for Delaware means more bands see a viable audience here means they'll come back. Yo Grand and Queen - go git em. Just like you did with Wilco and Bright Eyes a few years ago.

This is Dave Mason WHEN HE WAS COOL.

The Queen had the right idea when it went after acts like Richard Marx and Bryan Adams. There's a big market with huge selling '80s pop acts no matter how "uncool" a segment of the music world deems them to be. The Grand has the WRONG idea with acts like Dave Mason, which regardless of how it sells paints the picture of a venue that's out of touch - when you're booking a show, you're advertising for future shows. Not sure if 60-year-old guys stuck in the '70s is a vibrant target market.

Keep hitting that pipeline of nostalgia. The Grand could hit the '80s and score that late 30s to late 40s crowd. Like the Queen did, get someone like Psychedelic Furs, but go further. Get The Cure, or Morrissey, both of whom could easily sell out the venue.

But, to me, the 1990s seems like the next target to hit, and it's a big fat one.

And maybe The Grand has already made plans to do just that when it fills out its summer schedule.

Let's hope so.

Delaware Music Festival, Take Two: The Last Dinosaur

The Last Dinosaur is like the "Iron" Mike Sharpe of the Delaware music scene. I'm not saying they're Jobbers by any means; on the contrary, it seems that, like Sharp, they've been hovering around so much in the press and on the scene that they don't get the credit they deserve.

And like Dinosaur, "Iron" Mike was pretty rad. The Canadian grappler's loud and pointless growling in the ring was way cool, as is Josh Hensley's commanding frontman croon. Sharpe had that "injury" (wink wink) that allowed him to wear a loaded forearm brace to bash opponents with (yet he never won?) while Dinosaur has Dan Horsey's blaring guitar.

"Iron" Mike Sharpe: "Canada's Greatest Athlete."

But thanks to performances like the ones they put on at Mojo Main, World Cafe Live at the Queen and elsewhere around the region, that could change real soon.

Let's see if the Last Dinosaur can have their big breakout moment, like "Iron" Mike did when he won the 1984 NWA Mid America Heavyweight title, or when he teamed with Hulk Hogan in Japan in 1984, or when he took on Jake "The Snake" Roberts at Summerslam in 1990, or when he fought Bob Backlund for the WWF title in 1983. when they play the Delaware Music Festival during their 11 p.m. set on Saturday March 30. The fest takes place at the Rusty Rudder in Dewey Beach.

If not then, we're pretty sure it's going to happen at some point, and these dudes will go on to bigger matches and titles than their pro wrestling doppelganger ever did.

Delaware Music Festival, Take One: I am Lightning

Year after year, more than once a year, a think-tank of music nuts down in Dewey Beach assemble multi-band music festivals boasting acts that zig-zag across genres like a Tommy Wiseau script, only more organized and cohesive. So, not at all really, I just like to reference Tommy Wiseau as many times as humanly possible.

There’s the Dewey Beach PopFest (coming up April 12-14), the Dewey Beach Music Conference, and the Delaware Music Festival, which unfurls 25 bands on four stages both in and outside the Rusty Rudder, 113 Dickinson St., Dewey Beach, from Friday March 29 to Saturday March 30. The only bad news is that you have to be 21 and over to get in. The good news is it’s free. Can’t beat that.

Wayne Supergenius: York County's finest.

Tony Ryder, singer and guitarist for the York, Pa.-based alt-country band Wayne Supergenius, has played two of the three festivals - his band performed at the Music Conference back in 2006, while Ryder went solo at the PopFest in 2011. 

"Playing in Dewey is always a wonderful experience," Ryder said. "The bars, the restaurants, the promoters, booking agents, the soundmen and their staff are always top notch. Highly recommended to anyone looking for a quality and professional gig."

Wayne Supergenius drummer Tony Melchiorre agreed with his bandmate and said all three of the events cater to the musicians. 

And that's thanks in large part, he said, to Vikki Walls, who is the force behind them.

"They treat you like rock stars. Vikki Walls is by far the most accommodating host, and she knows talent. Period."

Leading up to the fest, we’re going to shed the spotlight on as many bands as possible leading up to the fest.

I am Lightning: Do these things stay on when they play?

Today’s act is Wilmington’s I am Lightning, who take the stage at 10:20 p.m. on Friday March 29.

I’m loving the fearless, balls-out approach these dudes take to their emo rock. Could be their experience, as the members all have impressive resumes stuffed with loads of past bands: The Solitary System, Joshua Fit For Battle, Round Robin, Welcome the Plague Year, Rarae Avis and Game Over!

What I like best, though, is you’re not going to get some boring, shoe-gazer bullshit where the band doesn’t move, but you’re also not going to get some overblown theatrics from a band that’s still got some dues to pay.

Check 'em out doing "What's That Sound" during a recent show at the World Cafe Live at the Queen:

For the rest of the Dewey Beach Music Fest schedule, visit the site or call 302-227-3888 for more information.

Jimmie's Chicken Shack go boom at WCL

Marylanders who were college kids in the mid-1990s had no choice: They had to love Jimmie's Chicken Shack. And that's not a bad thing, considering the fact that singer Jimmy HaHa and his Annapolis-based crew were linchpin dealers of funk-metal before the music industry started selling bad batches of the stuff, otherwise known as rap-metal.

You gotta give it to the Shack, they went from a little-band-that-could to stardom, starting out by releasing stuff on their own Fowl Records, then packing the legendary 8x10 in Baltimore every freaking night, then getting signed to Elton John's Rocket Records and showing up on MTV's "120 Minutes."

Jimmie's Chicken Shack never became a massive band with an enormous fanbase, but the fanbase they did have was rabid and devoted, not unlike the herds of worshipers who bow down to Robert Pollard and Guided By Voices.

GBV and JCS fans: Geeks all the same.

Free Staters and long-time fans are in for a treat on Saturday March 30, as Jimmie's Chicken Shack play World Cafe Live at the Queen, 500 N. Market St., Wilmington.

Best part - the ticket price is very 1995-ish, at $10. Sinners Saints and A Caffeine Dream open the show at 8 p.m., and tickets can be had here.


And now, all Jimmie's Chicken Shack, and chicken fans in general, bow down to the new Queen of Fried Fowl:

"Radiation Vibe" of power-pop at The Queen

If you went to college in the mid-1990s, you owned Fountains of Wayne's self-titled debut. You just did.

And if you were into the Beatles and other bands with boatloads of singles in the '60s, you either loved or hated the 1996 Tom Hanks film "That Thing You Do!" and its Oscar-nominated title tune, penned by FoW's Adam Schlesinger.

This is the jam.

Unbelievably, the Fountains - a long-time songwriting venture of Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood - are still spewing out music (including the latest, "Sky Full of Holes,") although not for long according to some recent articles. This is probably a good thing, since it's been quite a while since they cranked out anything good, and that includes "Stacey's Mom." While it boasts a killer hook and some slick production, "Stacey's Mom" was just a blatant grab for attention and airplay, complete with a video that couldn't have spelled it out any plainer. Why not, "My Dong and Stacey's Mom," or "Stacey's Mom in a Thong," or "I'm Really Into MILFS, Your Mom is So Hot."

I'm just now realizing that when this shameless slice of light-porn came out in 2003, it was supporting the boring-ass "Welcome Interstate Managers" record, which went GOLD thanks to the whore-ish "Stacey's Mom." This would be like Hanks winning an Oscar for "Forrest Gump" by playing cute and pandering to the Baby Boomer Academy judges with a soundtrack packed with Creedence, Bob Seger, The Beach Boys, etc.

Wait ... Nevermind.

The Fountains are in town tonight (March 14) for a show at World Cafe Live at the Queen, 500 N. Market St., Wilmington, and as is almost always the case, the opener is pretty much responsible for the existence of the headliner. Marshall Crenshaw pioneered the very kind of power-pop that the Fountains specialized.

Believe it or not, this geek rocked.

The counter-harmonies on "Mary Ann" are all over the Fountains songbook. "You Curse At Girls" = "Cynical Girls". And like just about any other band in the genre to pop up after Crenshaw's genius 1982 debut, the Fountains have been chasing but have never achieved the genius of "Someday Somewhere."

But baby, baby-baby, it's all about the '90s nostalgia, so cut your hair into Collingwood's phallic-like 'do found in the video above and come on down to the Queen. Tonight's show starts at 8 p.m., and doors open at 7. Tickets range from $20-$33 at Ticket Fly.