Hump Day Chat: Jeff Lynne - Legendary Producer or Wanna-be Legend?

G.E. Smith: Jeff Lynne - yay or nay?

Michael Anthony: In what respect? Like his production, kinda hate his music.   

G.E. Smith: Yeah screw him as an artist solo or with ELO (besides "Living Thing," dig that one), we both agree he eats nut. This is about his production. Obviously there's the Petty albums. They're good but would have been better without him.

Michael Anthony: But sound better than the Dick Lubin stuff don't you think?

G.E. Smith: Rubin had to produce crud ("You Don't Know How It Feels," maybe the best off "Wildflowers," blatantly rips off Wilco's "Too Far Apart"). If Rubin had the "Full Moon Fever" stuff to produce it woulda been SCHWEET.

Michael Anthony: I love the Lynne stuff on "Full Moon Fever," it's just a limp album. And then "Learning to Fly" is amazing sounding, no? 

G.E. Smith: No, I hate that tune. Especially since the Foo Fighters repurposed it.

Michael Anthony: Goo Fighters repurposed it twice ("Learn to Fly" and "Wheels"). What about how he ruined The Move. 

G.E. Smith: What'd he do? Dress them in Commie outfits and derail their entire career like Malcolm McLaren did to the New York Dolls? 

Michael Anthony: Move was rad psych pop, two-minute short 'n' weird singles, then Lynne started contributing and it got limp like ELO. Basically it turned into ELO, which isn't that bad but The Move was tight.

G.E. Smith: I think fever has some solid tunes ("Free Ballin" being way overrated) but the lite approach wasn't the way to go I don't think. "Great Wide Open Legs" is a mess no matter who produced it. Personally I think Lynne made it worse.

Michael Anthony: Eddie bated when he finished high school.

When you're rippin' light Petty, it's all downhill.

One of these things is not like the other ...

G.E. Smith: He went to Hollywood, slurped up some goo. What if "Fever" had a more raw approach like Rubin did with the Cash stuff, not exactly the weak stab he made on the shitty Petty album. "Runnin' Down a Dream" is fine but the rest have that Pringle-ish acoustic sound that is on EVERY SINGLE JEFF LYNNE TUNE EVER.

Michael Anthony: Can't see it. Rubin on "Full Moon." Haha.

G.E. Smith: Just some more robust and/or direct approach, that's all I was thinking. But,  OK, you have Lynne down as a win here. What about in Traveling Wilburys? I think his production is the right call there but his inclusion is a major violation.

Michael Anthony: Even as an 8 year old I was like who's that guy pretending to be cool with all those legends. Sad thing is he was actually the studliest one. 

G.E. Smith: It's like putting Jimmy Carter or Bush I on Mount Rushmore. Maybe that was the argument. He was like the Cliff Lee of the staff while the others were burnouts like Roy Halladay or R.A. Dickey. 

Michael Anthony: You don't like the plinky acoustic layers man? GBV ripped that on "Girls of Darryl Strawberry."

G.E. Smith: Yea I love it on "Strawberries." I love it on "Handle My Balls with Care" too. I just don't love it on EVERYTHING.

Michael Anthony: You think all those dudes kind of ragged on him during it all. Like at least during the video shoot. Like all standing around, then Orbison starts singing, "one of these things just doesn't belong here" from "Sesame Street." 

G.E. Smith: Or the other dudes circle jerking on his stupid ass fro. There's a doc where they have footage of all of them together it's pretty Bad A. There's no circle jerk.

Michael Anthony: I bet they never laughed at any of his jokes. 

G.E. Smith: Maybe they were trying to elevate him to their level. I bet Petty was the ring

Drag Clapton into this? Why not?

leader on getting him aboard. 

Michael Anthony: You think he's racist on top of it all? Like Sting and Costello?  

G.E. Smith: Absolutely. Anyone with glasses like that is clearly a racist. 

Michael Anthony: Haha fuc. He's racist against not looking like a piece of shit. Clapton too.

G.E. Smith: You think Clapton ever tried to cover up his racism with his tunes? 

Michael Anthony: Yeah, when he circled back around and went full racist with that mid-'90s faux blues album. 

G.E. Smith: Yea that's what I was thinking. He was actually being racist while trying to make up for being racist.  

Michael Anthony: Check that "Motherless Child" video, Clapton goes all out. 

G.E. Smith: What about Lynne and the Beatles shit. Like does he deserve to even in the

Lynne AND Petty were among those destroyed by Prince at the '04 Rock Hall.

same building as even one Beatle? Lynne co-produced Harrison's "Cloud Nine." 

Michael Anthony: He's considered among the five or so best producers of all time - do you think it's because of who he worked with or because of merit.

G.E. Smith: Well you know what I think. I think even his good work would still be great without him touching it. It's like a pointless layer of gloss that he puts on in many cases. 

Michael Anthony: Haha. "Cloud Nine" was the forerunner to "Full Moon." Kind of puts it into some perspective now. I still love "Learning To Fly," but yeah he sniffs.

Burnt Bizkit; Jonesin for more Tom

It's too easy to rip Limp Bizkit.

Pounding on the Led Zeppelin of rap-metal was clichéd before people even started doing it.

Yeah, of course they sucked. Yeah, of course dudes who chanted out the words to "Nookie" were gargantuan douche bags. Yeah, of course Fred Durst was a talentless blob of skin and bone. Yeah, of course that guitarist guy looked like a f*cking jackass with all that paint all over his face. Yeah, of course their contribution to music was to make every other band and solo artist sound so much better because of the stream of awful shit spewing forth from the stage every time they played.

But so what? Their fans are their fans, their music is their music, why bother taking shots?

Because they're still around. Limp Bizkit should not still be together, playing and making music. Of course saying things like this just fuels Durst's fire, so he'd probably just flip the middle finger and start humping at whoever said such a thing. Just like he does here in the video for "Gold Cobra," a single from the 2011 album of the same name.

What the shit? Why are you so mad Durst? It's not our fault that you're an old man pretending to be a kid. It's not our fault that you could put all of the big jugs and hot cars in the world in your video and it still wouldn't change the fact that the only reason you get laid is because you're a rock star.

If you have to stick around, and play shows, like Wednesday's sold-out gig at the Theatre of the Living Arts in Philadelphia, just play "Three Dollar Bill Ya'll" from front to back and embrace the nostalgia. Don't make new stuff. You're embarrassing yourself. Seriously. Stop.

Go ahead, bite my chest hair: T.J. in his prime.

One guy we don't mind having around is Tom Jones. This guy can and has crooned everything, from bawdy originals to cornball covers to whacked out collaborations (pairing up with Art of Noise to cover Prince's from "Kiss," covering "Hot Legs" with Tina Turner), and as far as I'm concerned he can keep on doing it until the day that he dies. Shit, he can keep on doing it after he dies - they can just stuff him and wheel him around and play classics like "What's Up Pussycat" while his dead, hairy-chested body sits there in all its glory.

I mean, we're not that far from that right now. Have you seen this dude lately?

But yo, the 72-year-old (!!!) is actually tackling serious material now, having a real-deal renaissance a la Johnny Cash in the twilight of his life. Not surprisingly, music execs aren't getting it, as one called Jones' 2010 album "Praise & Blame" a "sick joke," even though it's freaking rad as hell. On his latest album he does Leonard Cohen's "Tower of Song." He does Blind Willy Johnson and Richard Thompson.

It's no longer about witnessing a Cheese Fest when Jones plays out, as he will May 17 at the Theatre of the Living Arts. Could actually be a cool show for all the right reasons. Go here to buy tickets.